David’s further encounters: Dealing with hurt and the cure for rivalry
2 Sam 19:24-43
One of the sad realities of a leadership crisis in a church is the damage it does to relationships within the congregation. When there is tension or conflict over a leader’s behaviour, a congregation may split along the lines of different allegiances. The disputes mount up, the tempers rise, and friends may become enemies if they happen to come down on different sides of the arguments. Healing such rifts can take time but often it never happens. Whole groups of people may leave a church behind with its wreckage of disrupted relationships. It is an all too familiar story for many who live with the hurt long afterwards, whether they stayed or left.
Dealing with hurt from friends
David has shown himself generous and non-vindictive in dealing with his enemies but reconciling with those who should have supported him is harder, perhaps because expectations on those closest to us are often much higher. In fact, we sense the king’s impatience with Mephibosheth’s long-winded explanation for staying behind in Jerusalem (2 Sam 19:29). Given David’s earlier open-handedness to him (2 Sam 9:9-10), his seeming betrayal of the king in his hour of need must have felt like a slap in the face. Although Mephibosheth is probably innocent (his neglected appearance suggests mourning for David’s loss; 2 Sam 19:24) and was genuinely tricked by Ziba (2 Sam 19:26-27), David cannot not be sure who is telling the truth. The king’s solution is unsatisfactory as it does not get to the bottom of the case, and one wonders how either Ziba or Mephibosheth really felt about the division of the land.[1] Nevertheless, sometimes the issue is so tangled that we can only try to make the best of a difficult situation.
Selfless friendship and rivalry
David’s uncomplicated friendship with Barzillai, who provided for the king and his band of followers in the crisis, is a counterpoint to the uncertainty of allegiances in the previous encounter. Barzillai is old and rich (2 Sam 19:32) and he makes it clear that he seeks no reward (2 Sam 19:35-36). Yet, it would be unacceptable for the king not to give anything in return, hence Barzillai’s suggestion that the king shows generosity to Chimham (probably a son, see 1 Kings 2:7). Barzillai’s selfless support is also a contrast to the rivalry that follows among the tribes. In the struggle for pre-eminence, the northern ten tribes appeal to their numbers and to having been first to suggest restoring the king (2 Sam 19:43), while Judah refer to their closer kinship with David but deny any material benefits derived from the connection (2 Sam 19:42). Their squabble is a preamble to more conflict to come.
The cure for rivalry
The rivalry around a leader for prestige or other benefits can happen in Christian churches, too, and it is a sign of immaturity. Jesus’ disciples experienced it when James and John vied for places of honour by Jesus’ side (Matt 20:21) and so did the Corinthian church when it divided into factions and lined up behind individual leaders in rivalry over who had the highest spiritual standing (1 Cor 1:11-12). In answer, both Jesus and Paul bring back their hearers to the cross. Honour comes to those who humble themselves, even suffer as Jesus did (Matt 20:22)[2] and the cure for rivalry and factions is to look not to human standards of greatness, wisdom, or strength, but to the cross, where God’s unexpected greatness is revealed through seeming foolishness and weakness (1 Cor 1:18-31). Even if our church does not experience the kind of crude rivalry and squabbles comparable to Israel’s quarrels over David, coming back to the cross as our centre is our best cure for the sinful impulses of our human heart. Whether we need to forgive those who have wronged us or let go of the need to prove ourselves or relinquish our desire to gain some reflected glory from our relationships to people with high standing, the cross demolishes all our pretensions. On the cross, the Lord forgave those who wronged Him (Luke 23:34), refused to prove Himself and His power to the mocking crowd (Matt 27:42), and endured the loss of fellowship with the Father (Matt 27:46). It is here that we get a glimpse of God’s immense love and gain insight into a different way of living.
[1] Ziba was earlier promised the whole of Mephibosheth’s lands (2 Sam 16:4), though he may have considered himself lucky if he really double-crossed his master. Mephibosheth’s response is meek enough (2 Sam 19:30), though it is hard to tell if this is a heartfelt reaction or merely a polite formula. Still, if he was innocent, would he not have felt rage at the way his servant acquired part of his land through deception and slander?
[2] Jesus’ reference to ‘the cup’ is to His suffering on the cross. In Old Testament usage, the cup is often symbolic of God’s judgment that the nations have to ‘drink’ (Isa 51:17; Jer 25:15). Jesus, too, drank the cup of God’s wrath (i.e. He was punished for our sake). In connection with the disciples, however, the language indicates suffering rather than punishment.
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