How to respond when God is silent (Gen 16:1-6)

Guidance and the part we are to play in God’s will as a result is a difficult question of the Christian life. When we glimpse something of God’s plans, are we meant to wait for the Lord to bring it about or should we be out doing something? Depending on temperament, some are impatient to get going and make things happen, others are happier to sit still and expect God to act. Single Christian women often wonder if they should demurely wait for God to bring to them the right man or if they are meant to be out meeting people. When I was studying theology, many of us were needing financial support to get through those years. Some went out to work several jobs, others applied for scholarships, yet others had financial support drop into their laps without any effort. Is there a right or wrong answer to these approaches?

Sarah’s suggestion

In Abraham’s story, we see this question played out as Abraham and Sarah wait and wait for a child. Yet ten years on in the land (Gen 16:3; Abraham would be 85 by now) and still nothing. Should they wait or take action? Sarah thinks it’s time to make a move and suggests giving her maid to Abraham as a slave-wife and a kind of surrogate mother. This was common practice in the ancient Near East (see also Jacob’s wives doing it; Gen 30:1-13) and a respectable solution (much as it may horrify us) at a time when modern fertilising techniques like egg/sperm donation or artificial insemination did not exist. It is also worth remembering that the promise to Abraham did not specify the mother of his son (not revealed until Gen 17:15-16).

Sarah’s motivation and the outcome

Despite these considerations, Scripture may give us subtle clues to the problem. It is reasonable for Sarah to assume that it was the Lord who prevented her from having children (Gen 16:1) since granting fertility or imposing barrenness were divine prerogatives. Yet, is there a hint of accusation that God barred her from what she desired? He only features as an obstacle to what Sarah wants and she does not mention Him in the solution (Gen 16:2; she could have said, ‘so that the Lord may grant me children through my maid’).[1] Admittedly, this detail is subtle and God’s activity may be implied in the passive (in the Hebrew ‘so that I may be built through her’, i.e. that her family may grow or that God may grow her family). However, there is more. The outcome turns out to be tension and strife, another indication that this project was not from God. Pregnancy in that culture was seen as the fulfilment and prize for being a woman and it increased one’s social standing. Although deplorable, it is not surprising that pregnant Hagar treats her mistress with contempt (Gen 16:4) and sadly, Sarah responds with harsh treatment of her (Hebrew ‘to afflict, humble’; the same word as what the Egyptians will do to Israel later, Deut 26:6), which Abraham effectively sanctions (Gen 16:6). Feeling perhaps insecure already because of her barrenness, stung by her maid’s contempt, Sarah also overreacts when she blames Abraham for what was her own suggestion calling down God’s judgment on him (Gen 16:5).

The key to whether we ‘do’ or ‘don’t’

To return to my initial question then, what might we learn from this incident about the way God guides us and how we should respond? As in Abraham’s time, the Lord does not micromanage our lives and give detailed instructions at every turn. Sometimes, we only learn more about His will as we explore possibilities and take steps. Sarah’s story here is not a blanket prohibition against ever taking the initiative and always waiting for God to act. Rather, it teaches us that whether we feel led to make a move or to wait, our motivation needs to be trust in God through the process. When we are impatient with God and feel that He is barring us from getting what we want so that we must step in to act, we are on dangerous ground. As in Sarah’s case, the result may be strife, blaming others and emotional turmoil inside. Yet it is equally possible to hide behind a pious front of trusting God when we are too fearful to make a move even though the Lord wants us to step out in faith and act courageously. Thus, the question may be less whether we ‘do’ or ‘don’t’ and more whether we trust God as we act or wait.

[1] It may seem that Abraham listening to Sarah’s voice (i.e. obeying her) also indicates that what she suggests is wrong, but this does not follow. God will later recommend to Abraham precisely that he should listen to everything his wife suggests (same expression in Gen 21:12 as here), so it is not a given that listening to one’s wife is necessarily wrong.

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