Lessons from the place of distress and remembering the Lord

One of the things I noticed living in the West is how much more private people are about their troubles and how much harder it can be to know what they are really feeling. Even at funerals, those who can keep control of their emotions (and hence not embarrass others) are viewed positively. It is fascinating to me to compare this with many traditional cultures where wailing and showing grief are expected – even if one did not care very much for the person – almost as a way of honouring the deceased. The cultural message in the West, however, seems to be that emotions of pain and anguish are uncomfortable for others, a burden on them and a sure sign that we have not got our lives together. Additionally, some Christians feel that crumbling in the face of difficulty suggests lack of faith. However, as the superscription indicates, this psalm is given as a model for prayer in times of suffering.

A place for distress

The psalmist is not holding back in describing his distress and this, in itself, is an encouragement: we are not alone in our suffering and we can give voice to it. The psalmist’s describes anguish in three areas: in his own person, in the reaction of others, and in the relationship with God. First, there is a sense of meaninglessness like looking out over a desert (Ps 102:6) when life feels transient like smoke (Ps 102:3). Suffering affects the body (no appetite, weight loss [Ps 102:4-5], sleeplessness [Ps 102:7]), and there is a feeling of isolation (v.7). Second, how people react to us can increase the pain. Here, ‘the enemies’ are mocking, likely seeing the psalmist’s misfortune as God’s judgment for sin (a common connection made by the ancients). They use his name to curse others (Ps 102:8; i.e. they say, ‘may you be cursed like so-and-so’). Today, others may limit their time with us because we are not good company (‘she is such a wet-blanket’) or respond with irritation (‘why can’t he pull himself together?’) or silence us with a triumphalist assertion (‘God is in control!’). Finally, distress may be magnified by feeling abandoned by God, lifted up (a positive expression) only to be flung aside and discarded (Ps 102:10).

Remembering the Lord

Giving voice to all these feelings can ease the burden of distress but there is more. As in many of the lament psalms, the initial complaints give way to affirmation and hope. This cannot be forced, but as we remember and consciously remind ourselves of God, a new perspective emerges over time. While our lives are finite, the Lord is eternal (Ps 102:11-12) and in the Hebrew, He sits, by implication, on a throne (v.12, NASB ‘abide’). In other words, the psalmist remembers that God is the enduring King. He also reminds himself of the Lord’s compassion, who will hear the groaning of the prisoner and answer prayer (Ps 102:17, 20). Given the references to rebuilding Zion (Jerusalem; Ps 102:16), the likelihood is that the psalmist is one of the exiles waiting for restoration back in the land.

The process from despair to hope

It is noteworthy, however, that this process from despair to hope is not a continuous upward movement. There is no triumphalism here. Rather, the psalmist goes through highs and lows and his surge of confidence earlier takes another dip when he remembers his weakened strength and what looks like a shortened life (Ps 102:23-24). If he is hoping for Israel’s restoration, it may be that he is distressed that he might never see its fulfilment. Yet, once again, he fights his way back to confidence by remembering who God is, the one who established the whole earth, who has the power to change what seems unchangeable as easily as if He were swapping out a garment (Ps 102:25-26). In the end, he tacitly makes peace with the possibility that he may not see restoration from exile by affirming God’s enduring commitment to the children of His servants. His emotional journey teaches us the value of expressing our grief, but also the importance of going back to who God is. Finally, the psalm reminds us that we may suffer disappointments when God does not grant our dearest wish, but we can still arrive at hope through the process of remembering Him.  

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