The first steps in reconciliation (Gen 42:1-25)

It is often argued that forgiveness is important because harbouring bitterness against those who wronged us causes harm to ourselves, so that it is in our best interest to forgive others irrespective of whether they repent of their sin or not. In our therapeutic culture that is focused on the wellbeing of the self, this makes sense, but the argument has always struck me as self-centred and at odds with the Christian perspective. Forgiveness is a relinquishing of any claims to take justice into our own hands and punish those who hurt us, and the Bible emphasises that such an attitude is necessary because otherwise we usurp God’s right to correct, punish and bring justice (Deut 32:35; Rom 12:19). As sinful human beings, especially when we have been hurt or harmed, we are too emotionally involved to be just, anyway. The late Tim Keller also adds that forgiveness is necessary first so that we can gently confront or correct those who have wronged us. Without it, he argues, we will continue to resent the offender and try to hurt him or her as we have been hurt.[1] The aim of forgiveness, then, is not an isolated act of self-healing but the first step in the reconciliation with another.

Joseph in power, acting in revenge?

Once again, as we follow the drama of Joseph’s encounter with his brothers after twenty years, we can see God’s providence as He works to bring about reconciliation in this torn and dysfunctional family. Among the steady stream of needy folk coming to buy grain, Joseph happens to be present when his brothers arrive.[2] Our instinctive reaction as Christians may be to anticipate from him a soft answer, a revelation of his identity and words of forgiveness. Is that not what Jesus would require of us? Joseph’s harsh accusation then is unexpected. Is he angry? Does he want revenge? The narrator does not reveal his motivation, so we are left to ponder what he is about. In fact, it would not be surprising if his knee-jerk reaction were to be anger, a churning of the stomach as he recalls their cruel treatment of him and a desire to pay them back for what they had done to him now that they are in his power (Gen 42:6-7).

God’s involvement remembered

Curiously, the narrator almost re-starts the scene by repeating that Joseph recognised them, but they did not recognise him, as if he wanted to include another angle to what was going on (Gen 42:8). The addition that Joseph remembered his dreams (Gen 42:9) is a rare insight into a character’s motivation and suggests that Joseph discerned God’s hand in the encounter since dreams were seen as divine communications (cf. Gen 41:25). The result of this double perspective is a nuanced picture of Joseph. He may have felt anger initially – who wouldn’t? – but Joseph was a godly man and he quickly recollected God’s involvement so that his harsh words became a goad to discover the truth about the brothers’ disposition and his little brother’s fate (Gen 42:9-16). After all, the brothers’ hatred of Joseph may have spilt over into hurting the other son of Rachel, their father’s favoured wife. The brief imprisonment and holding Simeon hostage put pressure on the brothers, which revealed some of the changes happening in their heart (Gen 42:17-20, 21-22) (more on this in my next post).

Forgiveness and confrontation

Our reading, then, gives us an insight into the process of reconciliation. Although we are often encouraged ‘to forgive and forget’, there are times when confrontation is necessary if true restoration and reconciliation are to occur. As Tim Keller points out, such confrontation must come after forgiveness, otherwise it will inevitably turn into an attempt to hurt and punish the other. Joseph’s actions may seem harsh, but the fact that he gives his brothers grain and returns their money (Gen 42:25) suggest his goodwill towards them. As he re-creates situations that echo the past, he himself suffers as he re-lives the distress of those days (Gen 42:21-24). Nevertheless, his actions awaken the brothers’ conscience and will ultimately lead to healing.

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[1] Timothy Keller, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? (London: Hodder and Stoughton, 2022). See also Tim Keller’s conversation with Collin Hansen about the book, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRJJgecZ8-4.

[2] Given the widespread famine in the then known world of the Mediterranean (Gen 41:57), there would have been a constant influx of foreigners (as well as Egyptians) coming to buy grain. Thus, as Gordon Wenham puts it, ‘it is remarkable that Joseph and his brothers should ever have met (v 5).’ Genesis 16-50, Word (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 405.