What it takes to be loyal to God (1 Sam 20:24-42)

After a concert with a group from her church, a Christian classmate was walking home the same way as another girl who had recently joined her church. The girl, however, seemed a little confused and did not want to return home, but had no idea where else she could go. My friend could not abandon a teenage girl who seemed mentally unstable to wander the streets, so she took the girl back home with her. However, her own living situation was not easy either. Her father was a recluse who refused to have guests and when he found out that his daughter brought an uninvited guest into his house, he was furious. He insisted that the girl leave immediately, but my friend stood her ground even though she was quaking in her shoes at his anger. Eventually, the girl was allowed to stay. Sometimes doing the right thing can be costly and set us at odds with family or friends, even an employer.

The feast

Indeed, Jonathan’s commitment to the truth will lead to conflict with his father. While it seems odd that Saul expects David at the feast when the king has been chasing him from Jerusalem to Ramah, it perhaps indicates that Saul is not aware how much David has discerned about his intentions. Celebrating the beginning of the month (new moon; 1 Sam 20:24) involved offering sacrifices (Num 10:10) and the meat of the peace offerings was shared with the worshippers, who had to be ritually clean to eat of it (Lev 7:20-21). Thus, Saul initially supposes that David’s absence is due to his becoming accidentally unclean (1 Sam 20:26).[1] The second day, however, raises his suspicions and brings confrontation. Jonathan gives the agreed explanation for David’s absence (1 Sam 20:28-29), but he subtly changes the message (compare 1 Sam 20:6) adding that David’s brother commanded him to attend (v.29). This emphasises David’s family duty as opposed to his own intention to stay away from Saul.

The cost of loyalty for Jonathan

Saul, however, is not fooled and his anger turns on Jonathan whom he senses to be in league with David. His strategy is to shame his son into obedience using emotional blackmail as well as appeal to Jonathan’s self-interest (1 Sam 20:31). The description of Jonathan’s mother is meant as a reflection on Jonathan and a way of Saul distancing himself from his son (NLT captures the sense with ‘you stupid son of a whore’; 1 Sam 20:30). Saul crudely compares the dishonour Jonathan is supposedly bringing on the family to the shame of laying bare his mother’s nakedness (a euphemism for the genitals). Jonathan continues to confront his father by querying David’s guilt, but this only elicits Saul’s murderous intent (1 Sam 20:32-33), ironically, against the very son he wants to see as his successor. While angry and grieved over Saul’s attitude and refusing to harm David (1 Sam 20:34), Jonathan will nevertheless honour his father by staying with him to the bitter end. As he and David part in an emotional farewell (1 Sam 20:41),[2] they know that it is the end of an era.

Putting God first

Jonathan’s loyalty highlights the principle that Jesus explained, which involves putting God and His will first even in the face of family pressures (Luke 14:26).[3] Such tension is always heart-wrenching because it is human nature that we want to please the people we love. Whether it involves the question of what career path we follow, whom we marry or how we spend our time or money, we may encounter scorn, emotional blackmail, or anger from those we care about. A friend who felt led to become a missionary struggled with her parents’ disapproval belittling her ability, another was thrown out of the family home because she decided to keep going to church. Yet another experienced his parents’ utter incomprehension when he refused to cheat on his taxes. While some are blessed with Christian parents and do not experience such conflict, the cost of loyalty to God will manifest itself for everyone, whether it involves disadvantages at work for honesty and doing the right thing or pressures from friends whose standards do not conform to God’s. May we be people who walk the right path with courage looking to the One we follow.

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[1] Ritual impurity could be caused by touching something unclean (like faeces, an unclean animal, a place where a menstruating woman sat before, a corpse, etc.). Likewise, seminal emission for men and sexual intercourse caused impurity. These, of course, are all normal human functions and ritual impurity is never considered sin. Most of the impurities (except corpse contamination) are relatively minor and only require washing and waiting a day. These rules seem pernickety to us, but for Israel they communicated an important principle, namely that God’s people needed to take great care how they approached the holy God.

[2] Kissing on the cheek is a common form of greeting or farewell in the Middle East even today, so it has no sexual connotation here (e.g. Esau and Jacob – Gen 33:4; Samuel and Saul – 1 Sam 10:1; David and Barzillai – 2 Sam 19:39; Judas and Jesus – Matt 26:49, etc.).

[3] The language of hate does not mean emotions of hatred here, just as love for God in the Bible is mostly about obedience and commitment to Him. Thus, the hate language here is about priorities of what or who matters to us most (notice that the contrast is with discipleship). Elsewhere, of course, we are exhorted to love God with our whole being (which includes emotions as well; Deut 6:5).

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