What it takes to shape our character (Gen 29:1-30)
Gen 29:1-30
I recently read the survivor story of a woman who was sexually abused as a young child by a cousin, then later by another cousin. When she finally told her parents, they did not believe her. She ended up in foster care and her social worker gave her the dismal statistics: most in such care end up pregnant, homeless and/or incarcerated; only ten percent makes it. She was determined to be in that ten percent. She applied to every college she could and managed entrance to one that offered dormitory accommodation, so she could gain an education and have somewhere to live when she had to leave foster care on her eighteenth birthday. Since then, she has become a highly successful entrepreneur, who is in a healthy and fulfilling relationship and blessed with a child of her own. She comes across as a woman of hope and joy despite the scars that she bears emotionally and physically. Yet in a surprising statement she said that if she could start her life over, she would not change her past because it made her who she is today.
God’s kindness: meeting family
No one would wish for adversity in their lives, but the truth is that we grow through those experiences of hardship and suffering much more than in the happy times. It was no different for Jacob whose character was much in need of shaping. His continuing story illustrates both God’s kindness and discipline. After the shepherds’ curt replies to Jacob’s questions, the appearance of Rachel, and the knowledge that he has found family far away from home energises his actions. The stone over the well that normally took several men to move is rolled away by Jacob alone (Gen 29:3, 10) and coming face-to-face with his cousin leads to an emotional outburst even before he could explain to her who he is (Gen 29:11-12). No doubt, the pent-up sorrow over his isolation and homelessness gives way to joy and reassurance: God is providing for him as promised.
Difficulties ahead – labour for Rachel
Yet, the over-confident youth who lectures the shepherds how to pasture their flock (Gen 29:7) needs a few lessons himself and in his uncle, he meets his match. Laban may receive him enthusiastically (Gen 29:13-14), but he will find out that Jacob brings no wealth, unlike Isaac’s servant (though the passage is vague on how much Jacob revealed of his story; v.13; Gen 24:30). Thus, if he is to gain Rachel, he will have to work instead of paying a bride-price. Did Jacob ponder the fact that his deception led to his present poverty and the need to work so hard for a wife? A shepherd’s wage at this time would have been about ten shekels a year and the average bride price about 30-40 shekels.[1] Thus, Jacob’s offer of seven years’ work, shows how much he loves Rachel and perhaps reflects his fear that his suit may be rejected. While a marriage contract would mention the bride’s name specifically, Laban’s vague verbal reference to ‘her’ (Gen 29:19) hints at the coming deception.
Deception and aftermath
Jacob’s blunt demand for his wife without so much as a ‘please’ suggests resentment (Gen 29:21). Laban is perhaps dragging his feet in fulfilling the contract. It is hard to imagine how the switch of the two women could succeed, but brides were veiled in public during the wedding feast and lighting was limited at night. The celebrations usually involved drinking, so Jacob’s faculties were perhaps impaired. Laban’s justification next morning is a pointed reminder of Jacob’s earlier deception with its reference to the younger and the firstborn (Gen 29:26). Did Jacob recognise the poetic justice of what was happening? While we can only speculate, his attitude is different from Esau’s. He does not contemplate murder against Laban or contest his uncle’s proposal to work another seven years, which was an extortionate bride-price in the first place. Perhaps, he felt too vulnerable without his immediate family to stand on his rights, but in any case, he perseveres despite the injustice. As we reflect on our lives, it is worth pondering how God used difficulties and hardship to shape us, how we responded and what we have learnt as a result.
[1] John H. Walton, Genesis, NIVAC (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2001), 586. Later law required a man who raped an unengaged girl to marry her and pay 50 shekels as bride-price (Deut 22:29), which in the circumstances was probably a heftier amount than normally expected.
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