You shall not commit adultery (Exod 20:14)

The prohibition about adultery is the command that has lost the most weight in Western societies. Not only does marital unfaithfulness loom large on our TV screens but sexual promiscuity has become so commonplace that no one raises an eyebrow. In any case, it has been relegated to the private sphere. Politicians and public figures may cheat on their spouses, but it is no longer a reason to resign from office. We have artificially sliced off such private behaviour from an individual’s character as if it did not matter that someone has been unfaithful to the very person they had committed to love and cherish. Yet, how can one trust that such a man or woman will be reliable and faithful in other areas and to other people? Traditional cultures rightly recognise that adultery is not purely a private issue because such actions also destroy the family unit and tear apart the fabric of society.

A further question is the boundary of what constitutes adultery. In ancient Israel, men could have more than one wife or concubine, so in a very technical sense, a man could only commit adultery if he took another man’s wife or betrothed. Engagement in ancient Israel was a legally binding promise to marry and breaking it required a divorce (Matt 1:18-19), hence unfaithfulness during this phase was taken much more seriously. However, a man could be involved in promiscuous activity with a prostitute, which was frowned upon but incurred no legal penalty because the woman would not have any binding commitment to a man. In contrast, a girl had to guard her virginity until marriage and be faithful to the man she was engaged to and then married until he or she died.

If a man slept with a girl who was not married or engaged, he had to marry her and could never divorce her (Deut 22:28-29). Virginity was a female’s greatest asset and once lost, it ruined her chances of marriage, so the command meant to ensure some protection for her. Much as the idea horrifies us, we need to remember that marriage was primarily an economic necessity in the ancient world and being unmarried was considered a worse fate even by women themselves (see Tamar’s reaction after Amnon rapes her and sends her away – 2 Sam 13:15-16). However, a father also had the option to refuse to marry her daughter to the one who violated her (Exod 22:16-17). All these rules are very alien to us and unequal in their legal demands on men and women.

However, Jesus’ statement ‘from the beginning it has not been this way’ (Matt 19:8), originally commenting on divorce, is also true here. The Ten Commandments set out the basic outlines of living; later legislation may accommodate human hardness of heart, but these initial principles are broader and point back to God’s original design. Thus, our reading does not narrow the focus down to specific situations or individuals. There are no caveats or exceptions, the prohibition is a blanket statement. In Gen 2:24 God’s original design is set out: one man is to live with one woman in a committed, intimate relationship within marriage. While many prominent figures in the OT had more than one wife (e.g. Abraham, Jacob, David, etc.), Scripture silently passes judgement on polygamy by showing the tensions that such dynamics create. God also uses prostitution as a metaphor of Israel’s unfaithfulness to Him condemning such behaviour whether directed towards God or other human beings, committed by men or by women (Hosea 4:12, 14). Jesus takes the principle further when He condemns not only the sexual act outside marriage, but also the lust that gives rise to such acts (Matt 5:27-28).

Most importantly, what God demands of us is a reflection of His own character. He never betrays our trust, breaks His promise or commitment to us. We can rely on Him through thick and thin and know that He is utterly trustworthy. He will not desert us for a better prospect, He will not give up on us when the relationship becomes difficult, neither will He belittle or deceive us. His love never fails.

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